Going to the gynacologist is always a bit uncomfortable for me still. Even though I am almost 30 years old, I remember when I was a naive 20 and a gynie examined me with my mom in the room. He then sent her out to pay the bill and had me, now alone, “examined” again.
He moved so fast that I did not know what happened till afterwards when I was recounting the incident to my mother. She is the one who made me aware of what had taken place and that he was, as she put it, and as I now see for myself, perverted. But more than that, he absolutely violated me and I never went back to him.
Recently, I went to another “vagina doc” for my post-natal visit. He said to me that I was a gorgeous woman and that I could get pregnant again easily. This comment seemed very matter-of-fact and not out-of-place at all. Only in retrospect though, he had his finger inside for a bit too long, using that as a reason to have me feel my healed womb.
See, the thing is, I feel like, (even hope), that I could be wrong in that I don’t know much about my own body as a woman and I rely on these men to tell me. I always wonder why men become gynacologists in the first place! I do empathise with them to some extent, because, via social conditioning and, possibly nature, women are objectified, and it must be difficult to be seeing one setta vaginas in front yuh face whole day and not have some kind of sexual thoughts, right?
So I think there are two issues here- (1) feeling violated and vulnerable to violation, and (2) the male-female relationship when the man seems to have the upper hand, ie, the information/ knowledge.
So my point is: Women need to teach themselves about their bodies so they know what is medically correct from what is unnecessary touching, AND they also need someone to tell them specifically to be on their guard at the gynacologist’s office. Women need to speak about these incidents and make it known that some things are absolutely unnecessary and violating- and that they most definitely could and should tell the doctor what to NOT to do.
We have the power, even in these situations, especially if we ever begin to feel uncomfortable; doesn’t matter who holds the medical degree. Remember too that you can always find a female gynie. The FPA is a good place to start, once there is a doc in. The nurses perform basic procedures too, so if it’s just a pap-smear, save yourself the hassle- and the bill! Share to become aware:)